I had not written, have not written in so long. It was probably laziness.
I wanted to write, as I had been so overwhelmed with my own turmoils all throughout 2014. 2015 is a little better though.
2014 was tedious, long and treacherous. I crawled through it, and time slowed down for me. Meds didn't seem to work. But surely writing could have helped.
I write because LKY has died and I have.. not mixed emotions but more of a sense of loss in my own life. I have never met the man but even now, I feel disappointed as I had never seen him nor spoken to him face to face. He was always only real to me when I was studying him in my SEA classes. I only knew him for what he did, or more specifically, what others wrote that he did.
And in those classes I grew to respect/fear him. The audacity in which he led this nascent city-state, the fearlessness he displayed, and the ruthless way he dispatched of his adversaries. The good ol' ISA that we students were taught time and again to use in our essays as examples of the man he was, and the Singapore he led.
With a single word, Mom calls him a visionary. I didn't think that was enough, that word was too cheap to be used on such a titan. People have visions. Ordinary folk can dream great dreams of flying cars and future utopias. Leaders can declare golden promises of the future. But LKY created the present I live in today. It is so real, it is all too real.
I think about it, and I understand those who weep. Perhaps many of them weep for that is how they deal with loss, but I believe many weep because of the real, genuine, beneficial impact he had on their lives. He fought so hard that even today I can bear witness to his tenacity, even though I never witnessed him speak as Prime Minister.
I write today because I feel this is the best way to honour him. For only personal reasons. For someone to have had such an impact on my life, and I to have never met that person, has left me empty. To have been on the receiving end of this... impersonal, distant relationship, while I have never given anything back, seems wrong. Catharsis is necessary. I write this because catharsis is natural, and writing this piece is my way of giving back to what he has given me indirectly. Given us Singaporeans.
LKY was a dictator. He stayed in power for over 50 years, sentenced people to jail/house-arrest/that one guy on Sentosa, ruled with his 'knuckle-dusters', silenced critics, sued others, consolidated power and established himself as The Prime Autocrat.
But Kings were dictators too. And kings were labeled as good or bad based on how they ruled their kingdom. Good kings put their people first, good kings wouldn't allow corruption or nepotism to control their kingdoms. Good kings made good kingdoms.
Lee Kuan Yew was not a king. But he ruled Singapore like a good king, a benevolent dictator. He understood the sacrifices and compromises we had to make, and he made them.
So much based on the actions of a single man.
The weight that had to be on his shoulders.
Take a rest Mr Lee,
You've more than earned it.
-'The old king is dead...'-
25/03/15
25/03/15
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