Skip to main content

Eighteen, Start again.

Friends, dots on one timeline,
Friends of the old and the present.
Can only say words and loving greetings of cheer.
Even as some, like me, we go through hell. Words that are typed, then sent, across space and time to this time of day, to wish me. Wishes are such fragile things, they are nothing, yet they are of value.
Symbols of friendship, good intentions and niceties. To wish me on a day when I am disappointed and ashamed.
They do not lift me as much as I would've have hoped, but I thank them any way. Today is a good day.
I fear the worst, perhaps guilt as well, focusing only on the end. The journey of life, the end of mine, that is what I look up towards. Not to this paper and pen they thrust before me.

Nevertheless: the less of the A levels, the less of worldly accolades, awards and achievements. A, A, A, A.
Born to study, born to excel, born to think, to write, to score above and beyond. Born on the 4th, to chase something.
I am resolved to chase something greater, of which I do not fully understand the end, but I do know the journey: to have a fiery heart, have the chutzpah, brazen and bold, unmitigated fearlessness, to maintain an absolute passion, like a perfect being.
Unrealistic and unattainable, as life is anfractuous in all its obstacles. Yet we , we as people, humans, thinkers of a collective generation believe and follow this goal. To be better and to choose better.

November the 4th, 2012. Yet with all my knowledge and lessons I have learnt hitherto. All my literary knowledge that is vast to no one but myself, with this little bit of understanding I have, I long to go back to 1994. To live it all over again, to be perfect, to be infallible and never to be flawed by anything ever again.
Or to start over, afraid of nothing, for my attitude is sound, and my mindset strong. My journey continues.

Think. Love. Hope. And love again.

04/11/12

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Thematic Summary of The Star by H.G. Wells

H.G. Well’s wrote The Star in 1897, but apocalyptic/disaster fiction had already existed for thousands of years. Well, the authors didn’t think they were writing fiction, but nevertheless, they were still writing speculative ‘non-fiction’. A quick Wikipedia look-up on Google will tell you that hundreds of seers have prophesized the end of mankind. Unfortunately, fortunately, they have all been wrong! Yet, these countless predictions prove a point about our very own human nature: many of us have fetishized the ‘end of the world’. Christians call it the rapture. Vikings called it Ragnarok. Others called it the Apocalypse. All these stories about our eventual end on this earth have a common thread: there is some greater reason for our end to occur – most of the time, it involves the triumph of good over evil. This is where The Star differs in its narrative. Instead of focusing on some grand narrative of good gods achieving a final victory over the forces of evil, it sticks to d...
3 comments
Read more

Thematic summary of When It Changed by Joanna Russ

Joanna Russ’ When It Changed centers on a human society made entirely up of women on a planet called ‘Whileaway’. The human colony is void of men because of a plague that occurred thirty generations ago. The females that remained after the plagued managed to survive without the males by a process that sees the merging of ova. This allowed women to reproduced with women, taking away the need for penetrative reproduction and thereby making redundant the role of men in the human reproductive cycle. The story begins when four Russian astronauts arrive on Whileaway. All four of them are male, which makes them the first 4 men that have set foot on the planet in hundreds of years. Their arrival has a profound effect on the women they meet, and we see this effect from the perspective of Janet, a thirty-four-year-old woman that is married to Katy, with whom she has three children. Upon meeting the four men, Janet is immediately taken aback by their physical size – “They are bigger than we ar...
Post a Comment
Read more

Inheritance [Balli Kaur Jaswal]

I really shouldn't attempt to write this... as if this were an assignment due on Monday. It isn't, so I shall not.  Two days - it took me this to finish my first SingLit novel, as far as I can recall.  It was about a family who goes through tough times. This family was Sikh. This family was Singaporean. This family felt, for a few heart-wrenching seconds, like my own.  Dalveer and Harbeer have three children: Gurdev, Narain, and Amrit. Karam is Harbeer's nephew, but he doesn't get to be a narrator in the story, so, screw him. Also, he's an asshole.  We see their story unfold over a period of twenty years - this is paralleled by Singapore's own growth as a nation. We see the effects of rapid industrialisation on the nascent city state, and we begin to identify some of the more... unspoken problems faced by its people. In its endeavour to grow, advance, burgeon -- people, genuinely good people, are left behind. In our  struggle for success, the few am...
Post a Comment
Read more