Feel better, friend.

https://medium.com/@patlaw/dont-be-me-de0fb8dc25dd#.xny9xp5hm --- Love is a call at 1130pm from the gentle incline underneath Serangoon and a voice that replies "Ok" with barely a moment's hesitation. You put down the phone immediately, but I hear your footsteps fly down the steps anyway. When I drag my heavy bones past the gantry, up the escalator, and see the white of your car by the pavement, my heart rests. I don't need to remind myself to smile. Love is You holding my hand in the morning My eyes barely open, legs tucked beneath the sheets lights seeping through the blinds - Through my small slits I see you praying for me "God.... bless... today...." You speak too quietly, or I am still in the midst of waking up from this dream. these eyes of mine still not aware of your love. This life of mine still taking you for granted. Love is You seating across from me and you are crying because I don't wanna love your god anymo...

Quickly now. I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you since you first sat across me. I try so hard for it to stop. I dismissed it first. Then slowly, it gnawed. I allowed it. I allowed my fantasies to run loose - so that my nights could find rest. It was a mistake. It was a lot of mistakes. My eyes closed and I could think of nothing else. It made it so much easier. You made mornings so much easier. So easy to be honest, so easy to be candid, and kind, and funny. But not suitable. No, surely not. Surely not someone for me. Surely. Definitely. Doubts begets doubt begets doubt. Thankful for the chance to feel like this. Like promise, a promise of a new day, a new week, a new routine. An endless well of fun-times and honesty. What more do you want? I want a museum partner. A theatre person? A park goer? A life maker? A frisson seeker? A thrill magnet? A sky diver? Someone to hold when the nights get dark and quiet. Someone to mirror me. Mir...

Subway - "what" "uh" "ugh" "can i" "this is so hard" "wah" "cannot la" "aiyah" "fuck it" "i like you" --- when? since the day i first laid eyes on you you tell your mother you cannot eat dinner at home today then you ask me to go out for dinner in my mind i disregard all other friends all other dinner plans (there were none in the end) immediately and i decide to finally do it in a tiny, half-closed-off subway space a schoolboy asks us where the toilet is i change my accent as i always do and direct him you say something about him i want him gone my plan does not include him i am nervous and afraid all the while moving closer and further at the same time treading water, a tango with myself. then slowly, a tango with you. I invite you in, you do not take the bait. you play coy and throw me nothing i keep going since i already began "s...

Denial Anger Bargaining D Acceptance --- I line you up I learned you, memorised you at a darker time of my life. That little grey of 2015, trying to find myself. To find solid ground after treading water. DABDA. Oh how relevant the first half of you have become. Horrid. 'Don't do that.' 'Stop.' 'It looks stupid as fuck.' I remember Denial first of course, the simplest to know, to note. Rolls off the tongue, reminds me of my father. I have a blast saying it. Then I remember acceptance. Always acceptance. Ingrained in my mind, I know how it needs to end. It must end with this. Must. Thousands of years and my ancestors have always ended on this - if not by will then by nature. When they fell, the grass accepted their offering - a return back to earth: ash to ash. Black to black. The acceptance of black, of blank, of the big, bad, black, beyond. Of crying out into open voids and awaiting something other than my own echo...

"We are richer than we think, each one of us." ---  It's easier, you say,  it's easy to love and be loved -  just look to the empty sky,  that is how much God loves you.  Ah, the sky, the open blue sky.  Beyond, they've found new life.  Planets in about an infinity yonder -  How I wish we found life there,  that would shut you up wouldn't it.  Would it?  I had assume it would, but now I'm not entirely sure.  Some apologist in torn jeans and a t-shirt would probably say,  say into his wireless microphone attached to his face,  say, "Oh the wonder of our God"  " How great and awesome our God truly is for creating this marvellous universe."  "That our God would be so magnificent as to create entire other planets for us to share our love with, and his message of kindness and goodness."  Inter-planetary prophets, all the while forgetting about th...

Bold and colourful, yet smooth and coordinated - followed his passions, greeted the world with a smile, treated everyone like a friend, and he did it all while refusing to blend in. --- with a crooked smile I go, crooked smiles I love, but I hate my own. I give the world a minimum curve, not unlike a cricket paralympian bowling with a pair of bowls, la. ugh. --- You made me happy so you deserve the best but what I give is crooked and therefore, cannot be. You give it to me and I receive it readily But I cannot bear to part with this disfigured gift. So I hide my teeth, I hide myself, behind this little curve that I hope accurately captures the joy you make me feel. And everyday I hope for braces, and everyday I tell myself I can live with it, and everyday I wake up in the morning and I fail, and I fail and fail and fail again to follow Sager's footsteps. I fail to remember that it is us who are sometimes our own worst critics. And that being f...

Pretty but deadly (http://evolution.berkeley.edu/evolibrary/article/0_0_0/biowarfare_02)  To investigate the mystery of the hunters' deaths, Butch began by studying the newts. Rough-skinned newts, like the one found in the coffee pot, live along the west coast of the United States. The newts' brown backs blend into their surroundings; but when disturbed, the newts do something strange: they curl their heads and tails towards each other to show off their bright orange bellies. Why? Well, other brightly colored animals like monarch butterflies and coral snakes are poisonous or venomous. Their bright colors warn predators, "Back off, I'm dangerous!" Perhaps, Butch reasoned, the orange belly of the rough-skinned newt sends a similar message — perhaps the newts are poisonous. --- "Back off, I'm dangerous."  --- Person of interests,  face painted over and over,  not unlike camouflage.  The black in your eyes yell  ...