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Three girls and a Big Bad Ex (a.k.a Mutually Assured Destruction)

HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?
You have a classic 22nd century relationship with what you thought was, by all measurements, a normal guy. Then, at some point in the future, you of course realise that he’s an absolute madman. He constantly tries to contact you, leaving you with no personal space. His never-ending mind-to-mind instant messages clog up all the space on your already congested yottabyte[1] quantum drive.
 You need to get away! What should you do? What can you do?

Well have we got the perfect solution for you!

After years of research and development, we have the answer to all your crazy boyfriend problems. How does it work you ask? Well let’s take a look at these three unfortunate single women who simply must get away from their relentless partners. 

First up, we have poor little Hamela Hamderson. She’s trying earnestly to make her overly-enthused lover a former one, but she can’t seem to accomplish her task. Hamela frantically downloads a free version of that software developed by those peons over at McAfi. Thinking herself safe, she goes back to her daily routine. She’s at the local grocery store, browsing a few select cuts at the deli counter, when it happens. Her tenacious pursuer has brute forced his way through the firewall!
McAfi’s mind-to-mind defences balk at the simple task of defending a brute force attack, almost like a straw house in a wolf-made gust.  
She squeals in horror as streams of tru-instant messages come pouring into her live feed. Her Gogle-lensTM depict truly upsetting messages like “You haven’t replied my IMs”, “Let’s try at making this relationship work”, and “I love you and want to spend my life with you.” 
Why won’t this creep just leave her alone?
Hamela crumples onto the floor in anguish: she just can’t seem to get away from this awful display of voracity. Well, that’s what you get from using shoddy software!

We transition now to the equally unfortunate life of Baroness Beverly Bacon. This highfalutin lady of the courts has spared no expense – she has purchased all the anti-stalker software. No man or woman on this good grey earth should be able to break through, right?
Wrong! The hacking group known as KnownTM, an offshoot of the group formerly known as Anonymous, have once again figured out a novel way of breaking into things. The sweet, crisp Baroness is yet again left vulnerable, even with all the defences she has put in place.
Known’s new virus, once sent to an unsuspecting party, immediately mimics and replaces any and all defence mechanisms it can locate. All prior firewalls are Zeeroxed[2] and thereafter deleted, with the Zeeroxed firewalls being entirely controlled by the sender of the virus. The perpetrator can now toy with the victim as he wishes, when he wishes. Known has affectionately named this virus ‘Jericho’ – strangely not after the biblical tale where an Israelite army felled the walls of Jericho with the blowing of trumpets, but rather, after the 21st century WWE wrestler Chris Jericho. The reasons for this are not yet… known.
We see Beverly being swarmed by thousands of IMs sent by ravenous bachelors, like a pack of wolves about to blow their trumpets so loudly, that even a wooden house would crumble and fall. Her privacy entirely decimated, she receives IM after IM, all of which are of how she is so amazing and desirable, and that she is cherished and loved…  

Too bad Beverly! You should’ve purchased a better product!  

Like what we have to offer, the solution to all of your problems!
We here at Brick Moon are proud to announce the arrival of the MADTM. With MADTM, we guarantee that your encounters with unwanted, mad pursuers will be significantly lessened! This final lady will show you how our product works.
With MADTM, Ms Piggy is able to deflect all suitors effectively. Try as they might, assailants will never be able to penetrate Brick Moon’s defences! As viruses such as Jericho attempt to subvert our first line of defence, our program traces their points of origin. Once known, MADTM lauches a counter virus to the source. This virus will then proceed to wipe out all files pertaining to both the perpetrator and the victim. The stalker shall lose all memory of the stalkee – every picture taken, every online conversation - every small file associated with the victim wiped clean.
Conversely, in order to provide further protection, MADTM also wipes out all data pertaining to the stalker on the stalkee’s quantum drive. As such, no party will have any data about the other. With contact IDs erased, it will become nearly impossible for each party to meet or interact!
Brick Moon will continue to hold resolute even after the most devastating of attacks. We guarantee that no one will be able to harass or trouble you any longer! And if they manage to fall through some loophole, we assure you that our counter measures will render them hopeless and harmless, like a wolf that has fallen through a chimney into a pot of boiling water.
Ms Piggy will stay safe and free of all the pesky intrusions, all thanks to MADTM.
And if you order now, we will throw in a free visit to our friends at SpotlessTM, where they will wipe any memory of yours that you want[3]!
SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR! ORDER NOW!
[Advertisement ends. Camera cuts to an apartment building where people are using similar security software, in close proximity with each other yet huddled alone in their homes. From a distance the old Tim Minchin song “Not Perfect” plays softly,
“… this house has locks to keep the baddies out, but they’re mostly used to lock ourselves in…”]  


[1] 1024 bytes
[2] Zeerox: to duplicate, or make a copy of. Originated sometime in 2050 after a certain company began suing people for using a certain word.
[3] Free trial is limited to the memory wipe of one person only.

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