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VERBS.

I am now broken into two. Split right down the middle, as I've been before in the past. But there is no deliberation, or doubt, or despair - this time.

Today I see the Dos and the Doesnots.
A field of action adjacent to a desolate waste of inaction.
And, you know, the same old same old.
Bright, uplifting colours on the one hand,
and whatever the opposite of that on the other.

Always with the dichotomies, the cleavers, the juxtapositions.

Coming to you this fall,
"Ideals vs. Reality"



I see what potential can be done with my time. What joy I can create for myself that would last for more than a day. A prevailing sense of accomplishment that would still greet me in the morning. The voice in my head that would cheer me up by telling me of all the good things I have to be thankful for.

I forget it so often, but life isn't all about that blue house on the hill. My blue house on the hill. My comforting pillow that I cling on to. My source of comfort, and normalcy. Something to set my eyes on when my world starts spinning. When thoughts swarm my mind and my heart begins to tremble, when my head dips and my mouth goes dry - I turn to my visions of sunny skies and a blue house. Of the pale, milky ceiling that I've looked up to after every mishap and vomiting spell I've had.
Safe.

And I turn to the distractions before me. Laid out in my mind - almost as if I were on a schedule.
I flit and flutter from one meaningless activity to the next, a buzzing bee bustling, from one distraction to the next. My eyes locked on to the same game I've played for a thousand years.

A THOUSAND YEARS, AND A THOUSAND MORE~

Accomplishing my list of the doesnots - it does make me feel oh so much better. And then night comes, and the seconds before my slumber usher in a most empty feeling. Had everything placed on a platter before me, and I ate and ate, without ever becoming full.


Oh, but the dos.
They make life worth living don't they?
Then why are they so hard to...
do?

Maybe, you think too much. Even now, with your itty bitty mind being overwhelmed by itty bitty spiders that spawn at every corner of your mind.

goes up the water spout, down came the rain...
All the little spiders, so easily washed away, if you'd only let it rain...


To be perfectly clear, the rain is a metaphor(?) for the courage you need to ignore the self-doubt and do the things that would bring some meaning, some joy into your life. The spiders are the self-doubt, the overtly intricate, annoying thoughts that you think of everyday.
OK.

so do as much as you can. FEEL as much as you can feel. Write more, cook, clean, lift, jump, insert more verbs into your life of yours. Fun, distinct, diverse verbs. Everyone should have more verbs.

ZOOM. RACE. RAN. HOP. TRAMPLE. ROLL. FLY. TELEPORT.
VERBS.

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