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I'm back, and I'm almost 32!

Hello!  You could only ever be a me that looks back - neck turned, eyes reaching out for connection.  I see you, and I see you - Thank you, and sorry. I know you're sorry for not writing. I'm sorry too, now.  I guess I... time healed me.  And I didn't need to write this stream of consciousness stuff any more. I look back at these posts now in 2026, and I find such pride in my writing. Not just because I wrote all of it before LLMs went public, but because I was so brave to put things down. Creative Courage - I tell this to my students all the time. And i practiced it, when i was you When I was you :)  Or rather, when you read this - when you were me  -- I am now at PROLOGUE, a coffee shop that the wife likes at Millenia Walk.  Oh > I am married. But of course you already know that.  The act of writing is a strange one isn't it? I am trying to write to a past self that will never see or read this, for a future self that I only hope might Staccat...
Recent posts

Improv... Courses? At NUS??

Emergent in the original and secondary literature on improvisation are four central principles of applied improvisation: (a) accept all offers, (b) recognize gifts, (c) build on every idea, and (d) support fellow players. 1  The improv mantra “Yes, and” encompasses the first three tenets. Saying “yes” means an improviser accepts any offer her fellow players present; she will not block or reject ideas. Johnstone ( 1979/2012 ) calls blocking “a form of aggression,” a default response to fear of the unknown or giving up control (p. 96). To think like an improviser is to reverse this tendency and become open to allowing the action to develop by accepting the ideas of the ensemble. Furthermore, saying “yes” means that a player is alert and listening to all the offers a scene partner presents. Because improvisation traditionally uses no props or costumes, improvisers must recognize everything that their ensemble says and does as a “gift” or “offer” that they might use to advance the scen...

Quick, write something beautiful like you once did

 1.30am  Be specific and detailed, you know, really go deep. Keep asking why. Tell me something you didn't know about yourself. Tell me something I'd never seen. Tell me an a-ha moment, an insight, an unseen revelation.  Tell me truth.  ...  A most valuable commodity.  Tell me the truth.  Here it is:  I am back at my wooden desk, much like the one miles (yes, miles) away in Bostonia. Long hair, black jacket - feeling cold and old, and alone. I had friends but none that I really wanted to put in the time to be friends with. I did try - beer, shots, even clubbing, even that day in the parking lot and then the colourful aisles of cereal boxes and chips.  Still the same, but with a haircut.  More balanced now? Hmm, perhaps. Less in touch with friends.  Hmm. Yes. New acquaintances, new-ish friendships.  Ah. Yes. yes, yes.  The ol' friendsyouwannakeepintouchwithbutitsreallyhardtodowithoutanactivitylikeschoolorsomeformofchurchlik...

friday's first meeting

 1.20am in a day i will have president-ed my first meeting few people, pizza, old friends  that, no, this - this feeling hits again.  Shiv says she'd like to stay in new york. like sanj, im sure sam, yan,  lasalle kids who want to do broadway  make music like bo  make art with a supportive community of diverse english speakers  where am i going with this?  i guess, how do i do this?  art isnt dead tho bo, i dont think you think it is. i think you think that way because you just feel bad man. you feel like because art does not do good then it is dead. but i do think it does good - if not for your fan xm or myself, then for yourself and then and therefore, myself. my self.  this is art for me, and it is more than enough. it is enough-enough.  i still have dreams you know? "Life Design" ones, multiple, many many dreams. Many-many.  ... so i guess tomorrow's will be the prototype. may i be as brave and courageous as i want my stude...

99

 Rain heavy, worried about leaks.  I close the Tetris tab i use to procrastinate things like work or sleep.  1:19am: the most productive time of the day.  Worried about life. Thinking of signing up for programs, masters, diplomas.  Thinking about death and life. Of me at 80, 90, 99 - looking back here, now.  Used to be a believer in a God - well - rather,  a life that would never end.  finality in clouds, over and over, beyond until the never more fullstop in the middle of a sentence.  a day ago i burn after my booster shot (covid 19, is it still here?)  and i go downstairs to grab panadol only to lose hearing and stability (vertigo?) on my way up. i thought i might die, well, at the very least faint  so close to the nerve of mortality, the body instructs you of your doom.  and i want to be a writer  i guess i am huh.  start a group, community, a something  "just put a voice, never mind, just a... word." just put...

spotify

 learn to fly annies song someone to watch over me ella fitz strange fruit (nina!) only (lee hi??) crash my car (coin) might not make it home (yeh!)  i dont love you (mcr :P) a change is gonna come (sam)  all i could do was cry (etta) congratulations (english, day6, fox guy)  something tells me (bailen (?)) electric love (!borns!)  one day more (big mama(S)) 30 + goodbye (bo) white wine in the sun (t.minch) under the sea  many things (innocents?) paradise (bazzi)  chinese song? (yisa yu? qing ren something) official (charli)  like a river runs (sia <3)  im a fantastic wreck (montaigneee) start already (lioncityboi) only exception  may i have this dance (francis philcollins) youll be in my heart (phil philcollins) blank space / stand by me (imagine dragons) rainbow connection whisper in her ear (milk carton) dancing on my own (robynnnn) slow grenade (ellie) room at the table (charlie <3) school of rock  good morning baltimore s...

Hi there

I'm back again.  I'm glad Google has the save password function - forget the security concerns for a bit. It's been a... while.  I think I was a little lost for a bit there.  So I didn't register for Masters. Guess only the kiamsiap part of me cares (it cares deeply). I'm not ready. It's ok :)  I've been a little lost.  You know, had Julia, and of course the folks. So not all that bad. But I think at some point in Fifa 20 and Thesis: THE fifathesis year. I think I was presented with a future. An adult future of btos, babies, and the weird normality of adult life. Just another life presented ahead of me, and I was writing about Alfian Sa'at and his provocavitivititiactivitivities.  I dunno man. I guess I wanted to write? The TV dream right? Right? It would soon come, right?  Or maybe plays? Right? You're not that good, but still, you could? You could help others? Yeah. I always loved giving constructive feedback more than I liked writing plays. Maybe ...