Feel better, friend.

 1.30am  Be specific and detailed, you know, really go deep. Keep asking why. Tell me something you didn't know about yourself. Tell me something I'd never seen. Tell me an a-ha moment, an insight, an unseen revelation.  Tell me truth.  ...  A most valuable commodity.  Tell me the truth.  Here it is:  I am back at my wooden desk, much like the one miles (yes, miles) away in Bostonia. Long hair, black jacket - feeling cold and old, and alone. I had friends but none that I really wanted to put in the time to be friends with. I did try - beer, shots, even clubbing, even that day in the parking lot and then the colourful aisles of cereal boxes and chips.  Still the same, but with a haircut.  More balanced now? Hmm, perhaps. Less in touch with friends.  Hmm. Yes. New acquaintances, new-ish friendships.  Ah. Yes. yes, yes.  The ol' friendsyouwannakeepintouchwithbutitsreallyhardtodowithoutanactivitylikeschoolorsomeformofchurchlik...

 1.20am in a day i will have president-ed my first meeting few people, pizza, old friends  that, no, this - this feeling hits again.  Shiv says she'd like to stay in new york. like sanj, im sure sam, yan,  lasalle kids who want to do broadway  make music like bo  make art with a supportive community of diverse english speakers  where am i going with this?  i guess, how do i do this?  art isnt dead tho bo, i dont think you think it is. i think you think that way because you just feel bad man. you feel like because art does not do good then it is dead. but i do think it does good - if not for your fan xm or myself, then for yourself and then and therefore, myself. my self.  this is art for me, and it is more than enough. it is enough-enough.  i still have dreams you know? "Life Design" ones, multiple, many many dreams. Many-many.  ... so i guess tomorrow's will be the prototype. may i be as brave and courageous as i want my stude...