Feel better, friend.

24 hours ago I was feeling ... worse. Seated alone in a manufactured mall, unique in its design yet... entirely unoriginal in its essence. It is me. It is you. The sweeping feeling - like the sea washing over the shore. I am submerged, my chest sinks... sinking. It is a continuous feeling. And the alien faces can bring no respite. I find no welcome there, nor will I. Nor can I. It is wrong to ask for... this form of help, assistance, from a stranger. So I sat there with my book, I pretended to read. The death penalty. People arguing to kill or spare the lives of others. Numbers and facts, versus the worlds of each individual. Here, then, THEN, I was thrust into the past all at once - hapless, alone, and upset yet again. Sometimes the memories foam up from the ground. And I am afraid, of being alone. Alone in a sea of faces. Unrecognizable, washes over me. And I am so full of emotion that I am effectively empty. Hollowed out, hallowed as an other. Myself, nameless, indistinct...

He had to choose between those two. What could help him to choose? Could the Christian doctrine? No. Christian doctrine says: Act with charity, love your neighbour, deny yourself for others, choose the way which is hardest, and so forth. But which is the harder road? To whom does one owe the more brotherly love, the patriot or the mother? Which is the more useful aim, the general one of fighting in and for the whole community, or the precise aim of helping one particular person to live? Who can give an answer to that a priori? No one. Nor is it given in any ethical scripture. // And moreover, to say that we invent values means neither more nor less than this; that there is no sense in life a priori. Life is nothing until it is lived; but it is yours to make sense of, and the value of it is nothing else but the sense that you choose. // I am like a prisoner who is enjoying an imaginary freedom while asleep; as he begins to suspect he is asleep, he dreads waking up, and carr...

Dude you just launched right into the climax without bothering with any set ups. You are just like one of those dudes that points their shaky cams at something of interest right as it hits its climax.  "WOAH! ARE YOU SEEING THIS? ARE YOU RECORDING THIS?"